I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
