She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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