And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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