I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
