I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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