dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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