I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
