Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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