So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
