Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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