I think my fart just growled at me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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