i think my tv is drunk
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
