as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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