why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You don't make any sense
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