I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize