Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
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Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
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You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
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