I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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