Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
