You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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