that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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