Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I pour the whiskey from now on
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
