Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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