I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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