Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
