Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
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I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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