theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
