Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I intend to get homeless drunk
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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