we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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