ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
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