if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize