it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize