his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
