watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize