just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me