how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.