well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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