He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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