I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
