It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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