bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
