then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
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Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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