# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
