All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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