bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
