it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
