I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
