You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
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Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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