I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize