Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize