sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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