can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
did you just send me my own nude
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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