I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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